51黑料

ST. LOUIS 鈥� For years, Tricia Leu was practically the face of ThriVe 51黑料, a Christian nonprofit group that uses millions of dollars in state funds and donations to operate 51黑料-area pregnancy centers that offer alternatives to abortions.

She had a compelling story. When she was a sex worker in 51黑料 and struggling with drug addiction, Tricia became pregnant by a customer in 2007. Unsure she wanted an abortion but feeling trapped in a dangerous lifestyle, Tricia looked for help and found ThriVe.

鈥淲hen I walked in, I felt hope, I felt peace, I felt loved,鈥� said Tricia, now 42. 鈥淚 felt like I could get out of this.鈥�

Tricia gave birth and started turning her life around. Soon and her baby鈥檚 picture began appearing in ThriVe advertising. Even after she married and had four more children, she continued to advocate for ThriVe in radio ads and television programs and at fundraisers and retreats. She became the first former client to serve on its board of directors.

Today, Tricia no longer is an advocate. Instead, she鈥檚 helping lead an attack on ThriVe鈥檚 leadership.

In May, she and her husband, Aaron Leu, 40, sent letters to ThriVe board members that outlined what the couple alleged were years of emotional and spiritual abuse by ThriVe鈥檚 longtime president, Bridget VanMeans. The Leus say VanMeans traumatized their family, encouraging them to separate and almost divorce.

鈥淲hat was once a beautiful story of God intervening and bringing redemption, adoption, restoration and new life 鈥� turned into a horror story,鈥� Tricia wrote the board.

Since the Leus鈥� letters to the board:

• A total of 17 former and current ThriVe employees have come forward, also voicing complaints about VanMeans鈥� leadership.
• Several longtime ThriVe donors 鈥� some who鈥檝e supported the group since its inception 鈥� announced they no longer would support it.
• At least two ThriVe board members have quit.
• More than a half-dozen churches, including several that hosted ThriVe events, fundraisers and speakers, have publicly cut ties with the organization.

VanMeans and ThriVe, through their attorney, call the Leus鈥� accusations 鈥渄emonstrably false,鈥� and part of an effort to deceive the organization鈥檚 benefactors and 鈥渃ause financial harm to ThriVe.鈥� Moreover, the ThriVe board regards VanMeans as 鈥渁 supremely competent and effective executive,鈥� Michael D. Quinlan said in a statement to the Post-Dispatch.

But several longtime supporters said the organization鈥檚 assurances aren鈥檛 enough.

Among them is the Rev. Michael Bond of Liberty Church in O鈥橣allon, Mo., who last month announced his church was severing its relationship with ThriVe because it wouldn鈥檛 conduct an independent, third-party investigation of the allegations swirling around VanMeans.

鈥淲e hope and pray that it can be restored,鈥� Bond said during a recorded sermon, 鈥渂ut we cannot in good conscience publicly or privately support ThriVe nor can we allow our members to believe all is well, when all is not well.鈥�

鈥楳issouri Miracle鈥�

ThriVe, founded in 1983 with help from the Christian Action Council (now , is among dozens of Missouri pregnancy resource centers currently offering women alternatives to abortion.

The centers are buoyed by state funding, including a tax credit that the state Legislature expanded in 2019 allowing donors to receive credits worth 70% of their donations.

More than $11 million in Pregnancy Resource Center Tax Credits were authorized by the state in the past year; state grants added another $8.6 million, last month. Missouri doesn鈥檛 reveal how much each pregnancy center 鈥� there are about 80 in the state 鈥� benefits from the tax credits.

ThriVe鈥檚 annual revenues topped $4 million, nearly all from grants and donations, according to its most recent publicly available tax filing. That鈥檚 a 42% increase over the $2.8 million in contributions it received in 2018, the year before the Legislature expanded the tax credit program.

ThriVe wasn鈥檛 always thriving. When she came aboard in 2009, ThriVe was 鈥渓ess than 30 days away from bankruptcy,鈥� VanMeans, now 60, told an . She began turning things around, drawing on skills she鈥檇 gained in business. An early modeling career led to sales and, by the age of 24, she had advanced to the position of regional manager at Nutrisystem, a provider of weight loss products.

During VanMeans鈥� tenure, tax forms show, she has built ThriVe into a four-clinic operation with 59 employees and 70 volunteers, attracting millions in donations in addition to the state assistance. Those clinics and a provide free tests for pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, as well as ultrasounds, where patients are encouraged to carry pregnancies to term.

VanMeans, whose base compensation was $168,894 according to ThriVe鈥檚 2022 tax return, has described ThriVe as the most successful pregnancy resource center in history.

She points to the , which in 2021, the year before Roe v. Wade was struck down. VanMeans credited ThriVe鈥檚 effective 鈥減ro-woman鈥� marketing rather than onerous state restrictions on abortion providers for that decrease, and has vowed to take what she calls the nationwide. A frequent guest on conservative and religious broadcast outlets, she鈥檚 forged strong ties to some of Missouri鈥檚 leading anti-abortion politicians.

Paul Decker, 76, of now of Lakewood Ranch, Fla., was on the board when VanMeans was hired.

鈥淚 thought when we were hiring her that she would be a good face for the ministry,鈥� Decker said. 鈥淪he was energetic. She was enthusiastic.鈥�

Speaking out

VanMeans鈥� power and confidence were magnetic, Tricia Leu told the Post-Dispatch. 鈥淪he was the ultimate.鈥�

After VanMeans took the helm at ThriVe, she befriended Tricia, and in advertising and at events. It was the validation that Tricia said she was desperate for after a life of sexual abuse.

鈥淔rom this new platform, I got attention, praise and adoration,鈥� Tricia wrote in her letter to the board.

Tricia and Aaron , and settled in Lancaster, Ohio, where Aaron opened a restaurant with his family.

In fall of 2020, the Leu family, including all five children, returned to 51黑料 to take the stage at ThriVe鈥檚 annual major fundraising dinner at the St. Charles Convention Center for a 鈥�10-year update.鈥� Seeing the positive response from donors, VanMeans urged the Leus to move to 51黑料. VanMeans promised they would be 鈥渞oyalty鈥� and 鈥減hilanthropists through whom millions of dollars would come into the Kingdom of God,鈥� Tricia recalled in her letter to the ThriVe board.

VanMeans began talking on the phone with Tricia three to five times a week, two to three hours at a time, which VanMeans called 鈥渃oaching sessions.鈥� But the coaching, Tricia said in her letter, came with strings: She and Aaron had to do everything VanMeans said. Aaron鈥檚 questioning of anything VanMeans told Tricia was unacceptable, causing a rift in their marriage.

Still, they both believed when VanMeans told them she had insight from God, and how the lives of those who crossed her ended in shambles.

In June 2021, VanMeans offered Aaron a job to lead a new men鈥檚 program, developing ways to engage fathers in their babies鈥� lives. Aaron said he felt as if he had to take it. They moved that December into the same St. Charles County neighborhood where VanMeans already lived.

As they prepared to move, VanMeans came to learn every detail about their family, they said.

鈥淲e would do everything asked of us because all her direction was coming from the Lord, and she could see what we could not,鈥� Aaron wrote in his letter. 鈥淚t was pointed out, again and again, that our lives were a mess: our finances, our children, our dogs, everything.鈥�

At one point, in repeat-after-me fashion, Aaron described how VanMeans had him declare her as his new mother.

When Aaron started his job, he said he began having panic attacks. VanMeans piled on additional tasks. No one would ever ask questions or make suggestions, he said, because they were so scared of her.

Meanwhile, Tricia said VanMeans was telling her that Aaron was lazy, had no new ideas and couldn鈥檛 respond to her messages appropriately. VanMeans began to convince her that he was not only failing at work, but also failing at home. VanMeans told Tricia that Aaron was abusive and a homosexual. She questioned whether he was really a Christian.

Despite being Aaron鈥檚 boss, VanMeans鈥� control over their personal lives tightened. They became isolated. She forbade them from talking to others about their problems, they said, because only her faith was strong enough.

In June 2022, VanMeans called a meeting with the Leus and other executive team members where they had drawn up a separation agreement for the Leus to sign. The goal was to 鈥渉eal their marriage,鈥� yet VanMeans told Tricia that she needed to choose between staying with Jesus and ThriVe or being with Aaron.

鈥淯nder fear and pressure, I caved and asked for a separation,鈥� Tricia wrote.

Aaron had to move out. Contact with his children was extremely limited. VanMeans was controlling all the messages between him and his wife, he told the board. Eventually, he would have to step down from his position with ThriVe. Aaron believed he was a failure.

鈥淚 was in utter confusion,鈥� Aaron said. 鈥淪he was making me out to be this monster.鈥�

In October 2022, Aaron filed for divorce. It was the last thing he wanted, he said, but he saw it as the only way to have any say in his children鈥檚 lives.

It ended up being the wake-up call that Tricia needed to finally walk away from VanMeans.

鈥淚 knew that I could not continue to live this way, constantly on the verge of not knowing when my soul was going to be ripped apart if I took one misstep,鈥� Tricia said.

Tricia and Aaron went into therapy. Within a couple months, Aaron was back at home.

鈥淭o say that was the end of the story is the furthest from the truth,鈥� Aaron wrote in his letter to ThriVe鈥檚 board. 鈥淚t has now been a year-and-a-half of healing from so much. Healing from brainwashing. Healing from all the ways that Bridget proactively worked to divide us. Healing financial repercussions. Healing trauma in the kids.鈥�

Quinlan, the attorney for VanMeans and ThriVe, said the Leus鈥� allegations about 鈥渕anipulation and control of their personal lives鈥� are contradicted by facts he is unable to disclose 鈥渦ntil issues of confidentiality could be addressed.鈥�

鈥淎s ThriVe鈥檚 counsel, I have reviewed these confidential factual matters and I can state categorically that the Leus鈥� accusations of 鈥榚motional and spiritual abuse鈥� are demonstrably false, and that contradictory facts are corroborated by multiple independent witnesses and unassailable documentation,鈥� he said in a written response to questions by the Post-Dispatch.

Aaron told the Post-Dispatch it would have been much easier to not share their story and just move on, but they couldn鈥檛.

鈥淚 can鈥檛 stay silent on this,鈥� he said.

Others join in

What helped eventually connect the Leus to other employees was a cryptic Facebook post made by a former ThriVe employee.

In the October 2023 Facebook post, a woman described a 45-minute call a year prior that left her feeling manipulated by someone she thought loved her.

She decided to post about it, she wrote, 鈥渙ut of the burden I feel for those that have dealt with the invisible but ever-present pain of a narcissist, and to show what it feels like to be free but still healing.鈥�

The Leus reached out to her. Other ThriVe employees and former employees did as well. They met and talked about their experiences with VanMeans. Many of those were similar.

The Leus felt compelled to engage members of ThriVe鈥檚 board with the goal of spurring an investigation of VanMeans鈥� behavior and her removal. Sandie Hea, a long-time ThriVe donor who knew the Leus, said she coordinated a meeting March 6 with board chair Craig Weber and then-member Bruce Eckhardt.

Eckhardt was moved to tears during the meeting while Weber seemed incredulous, said Hea, 65, of Affton.

Weber reiterated ThriVe鈥檚 policy, which is to follow Matthew 18:15 in the Bible: 鈥淚f your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.鈥� The Leus were told to work out their concerns with VanMeans.

Hea said that was inappropriate, given the allegations of abuse. The following week, Aaron sent an email to the entire board describing the allegations and asking for a meeting.

Only Weber responded, stating the entire board agreed the Leus must follow Matthew 18:15. 鈥淭he board鈥檚 decision regarding the Leus is 鈥榗ase closed,鈥欌�� the email read.

Weber declined to comment, and referred questions to Quinlan.

Quinlan, ThriVe鈥檚 attorney, said the refusal by the Leus and others to meet with VanMeans to discuss their grievances, insisting instead that she be 鈥渋mmediately suspended pending investigation,鈥� denied VanMeans the opportunity to face her accusers.

鈥淭his 鈥榮hoot first and ask questions later鈥� approach is grievously unfair to Ms. VanMeans and immediately harmful to ThriVe鈥檚 conduct of its mission to aid women in crisis,鈥� he said.

Supporters react

The board鈥檚 response prompted more former and current employees, donors and churches to get involved. They agreed to write letters to the board sharing their own experiences with VanMeans, enlisting the help of Pastor Wes Martin at Grace Church 51黑料, a longtime supporter of ThriVe, to act as an intermediary.

In more than a dozen letters provided to the Post-Dispatch, employees describe in detail how VanMeans publicly humiliated staff, often during hourslong online staff meetings. She claimed, they said, to have divine insight from God and that questioning her would cause catastrophes in their lives, even death.

They described a workplace with high turnover and vacant positions, sometimes forcing one of the four clinics to temporarily close.

Former and current employees alleged money is wasted on lavish gifts for donors and outings for upper management, while the clinics deal with outdated computers, broken doors and locks, poor lighting, old ultrasound equipment and broken air-conditioning.

Jana Coffman, 60, of O鈥橣allon, Mo., worked at ThriVe for more than five years until she left at the end of 2022.

Coffman started out working a few hours a week making thank-you calls to donors and helping with events. But that grew to as many as 40 to 80 hours a week delivering gifts and ThriVe gear to major donors, taking them out to lunch or coffee and doting on out-of-town speakers with lavish gift baskets.

It seemed extravagant, Coffman said. 鈥淲hen people donate money, they are not thinking it鈥檚 so an employee can take someone out to lunch every day.鈥�

Coffman, like others, said she felt like she could never say no or stayed at their jobs longer than they wanted because of the importance of the work.

鈥淟ooking back, there were other things, other warning signs I just dismissed because I was saving babies,鈥� Coffman said.

Coffman said she recently ended her and her husband鈥檚 30 years of donations to ThriVe, which had climbed to monthly gifts of $1,200.

Hea said she recently stopped donating to ThriVe after giving more than $150,000 over the past 10 years and being rewarded with numerous plaques and luncheon invites.

鈥淭here always were gorgeous flowers on the table, little gifts at your place like new blingy pens or one time I got a cross necklace,鈥� Hea said. She attended events at Top Golf and a winery, received fancy invitations and marketing materials.

Now she says she feels bamboozled by VanMeans鈥� confidence and rhetoric.

鈥淲e鈥檇 often hear from Bridget, 鈥極h, this luncheon is being underwritten by a generous patron,鈥欌�� Hea said. 鈥淲ell, I think now she probably means me.鈥�

Quinlan, ThriVe鈥檚 lawyer, said many of the allegations made by former workers are 鈥渓ittle more than gossip, hearsay, and uncorroborated accusations many years old and some more than a decade old 鈥� and were never brought up during their employment.鈥�

鈥淲hen ThriVe Board members challenged similar accusers to produce specifics and evidence, they were unable to do so,鈥� he said.

As to how the nonprofit spends money, Quinlan said ThriVe has earned a four-star rating from , the highest possible. The rating 鈥渁lso assures, for a charity of ThriVe鈥檚 size, that financials are subject to annual independent audits,鈥� he said.

鈥楢ttacks from Satan鈥�

Leaders at Grace Church said they took months talking to ThriVe employees, many of whom attend the church, to learn about their experiences under VanMeans.

鈥淭hese include verbal and spiritual abuse, manipulative and unethical behavior 鈥� all of which fall short of the godly standards expected in Christian ministries,鈥� the leaders wrote in a letter to congregants in July. 鈥淲e have exhausted efforts with the ThriVe board of directors to thoroughly, without bias, investigate these claims.鈥�

In response to their pleas to ThriVe鈥檚 board for an investigation, employees and pastors have received letters from VanMeans鈥� attorney asking them to cease and desist 鈥渟preading your false and defamatory accusations鈥� or face legal action.

At least two of ThriVe鈥檚 board members 鈥� Eckhardt and conservative podcaster 鈥� resigned shortly after the Leus鈥� allegations first surfaced. Eckhardt and Washington declined to comment to the Post-Dispatch.

Decker, the former member of the board that hired VanMeans, said he has stopped his donations to ThriVe after giving more than $600,000 over the past 30 years.

Decker said he learned of the allegations when leaders at Grace Church reached out for his help. Decker told them to go to the board, but they said they already had.

鈥淲hat concerned me as an investor in the operation is that the board seemed unwilling to go and investigate what seemed to be very credible allegations by a number of people,鈥� Decker said. People who want ThriVe to succeed.

Instead, he lamented, pastors and employees had received cease-and-desist letters.

Decker said he doesn鈥檛 understand why lawyers got involved.

鈥淵ou don鈥檛 need lawyers. This is a Christian ministry. Get in there and see what鈥檚 going on and talk to people,鈥� he said. 鈥淚 mean, this isn鈥檛 Tesla or IBM or something. It鈥檚 a local ministry.鈥�

Not only was he frustrated with the board鈥檚 unwillingness to address the allegations, he said, but Weber, the chairman, sent an email to supporters this summer marking VanMeans鈥� 15-year anniversary by effusively praising her accomplishments.

The email read: 鈥淭he challenges never end, the on-going need for improvements never end, and the attacks from Satan never end (true for anyone doing God鈥檚 work); but the energy & creativity & resolve of Bridget and her team to take on these challenges directly is very inspiring!鈥�